Meet Namrata

“People around me wait for the day to end and leave for home after work. Since the time they enter the office premises, occupy their vacant chairs and switch on their systems, they only wish to go back home. Home for them is synonymous with comfort, relaxation, family and love.

Not that, I am a workaholic and draw pleasure by sitting in front of the screen,  working on dull and boring excel sheets, day and night. Just like others, even I wish to run home and hug my 6 year old; listen to stories from his school, and others that are a part of his imaginations.

Yet, I end up spending more than required time at office, and that’s because I know hell awaits me at home. On working days, I am spared during the day, but for weekends, you can’t imagine how annoying it gets. That is one more reason I love to visit my office and work peacefully leaving my dear friends puzzled and angry too. Monday to Friday, 9 am to 7 pm, I feel people hurrying around me, to finish their task and enjoy their personal lives. Yes, the concept of partying is no longer limited to weekends. Hanging out with friends any day after work is quite a normal way of life for the young professionals, like me. But for me, it’s a luxury I can only dream of.

Recently I did attempt to break free from the limitations and joined my office colleagues for a birthday treat. It was Friday, my friends were in partying mood, and we went to a plush restaurant for dinner. Everybody was enjoying the music, while I was on the phone listening to my husband’s taunts and shootings.  Not surprisingly, he had already booked a cab at 8.00 PM for me to go home.

The party for them had just begun at 8.00 PM and leaving the place that early destroyed the very reason of the gathering; forget the fun. That was the sole reason I never went for dinner meets, hangouts... never! And now, my friends won’t ask as they understand my predicament and the embarrassment I go through. Strange enough, these guys understand my pain, while my family doesn’t.

If they did, will they ever let me sleep on an empty stomach? Or throw my things without even asking me whether I need them? Would they wrongly bitch about me to my relatives, neighbors, and even the maid? Would they print a wrong picture of me in my beloved son’s mind?

Often, I simply don’t understand, how have I managed to stay with them for the past 8 years. What hurts the most is not my in-law’s behavior, but the fact that my husband has little support for me, even when he believes I am not wrong. I don’t understand what scares him, rather from whom and why. I have considered the thought of staying separate from my in-laws, but my husband won’t budge. He wants to be the ‘Sharavan Kumar’ for his parents. Going back to my parents? Coming from the traditional background, they won’t accept me back at home for the fear of what would be said in their social circles.

This place, certainly not my home, is a hell that has snatched my peace, happiness, smile, and now even my sadness. I feel numb and feel there’s nothing to look forward in life. I feel trapped and helpless that encourages me to run away from everything, stay alone, get my own personal space and be happy. But will I be happy? Leaving my child alone with them? Will I be able to stay separate from my husband, my in-laws and moreover my parents? What will people think of me? These are the questions that are gnawing me from the inside, making me indecisive as to how to get out of these problems. There is a fear deep inside me that one day, the strings of patience will snap and everything will plunge towards the ground. But there is also a lingering ray of hope that my husband will understand what I am going through, support me and not be silent when it matters the most.

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Picture courtesy: Google

Please note: Names have been changed to protect identity , on request.

Moments of Realization - 1

“Hunger strike”, the strike that sets things straight…

The four day long strike works wonders, it amends rules, makes you a hero, wins you the required attention and often melts hearts…whether at national level or domestic. What??? Yeah...People do it…no!!! I have done it. Not something I am very proud of,but this incident was a great learning experience.

The story dates back to the days when I the elder daughter of family, was mature enough to understand things and people around (as I believed then) and at an age when ego clashes with parents (mom in my case)is a norm.I too had a little chapter in the history of the great ‘Anshan Andolan’.

I was getting tired of being mom’s punching bag and ...err kind of demanded explanations for her acts of ‘atrocities’ on me. “Why am I the one who is always wrong?” and “Why should I be patient and listen to your shouting without any mistakes?” and “Why do I always get, when you are in a bad mood because of somebody else?” and the questionnaire continue into pages.

Well, with the responses I received, I understood that parents are the only blessed beings on this planet who can get away without giving any explanations to their kids.Certainly, children do understand this fact over a period of time and after several fights and argument sessions.Till then, the young and aggressive minds just keep boiling up.

Was I any different?  My anger was just pushing me into a cave of arrogance,non-tolerance,aggression and finally ‘hunger strike’. Well, I was stubborn,the opponent being my mother and the result was “khana….huh,nahi khaana”. After one of such deadly fights with mom, I refused having dinner and also lunch, the following day. I survived on water,but mom didn’t pacify me.Rather, she got me some Parle-G biscuits and kept them open in the kitchen. So,‘paani’ and Parle-G for the next two days were my lunch and dinner. Secretly, I did wish she will come and plead me to eat, but it didn’t really happen. She was as adamant as her daughter.

On the third day, while I was looking at the window,and wondering if glucose biscuits would become the permanent dish on my menu for lifetime….mom with whom I wasn’t talking to for all these days,came  and gently asked me when would I have food. Yes! I was surprised, secretly happy too but what I could emit was only my rage. Then the most unexpected thing happened. She apologized and served me food. Wow rice,dal and ‘sabzi’, never tasted so heavenly.

With tears in her our eyes,my plans to sticking to my new-found staple diet (glucose biscuits… remember)trickled down. And with that, I made two very important promises to myself.Never to get angry with mom and most importantly with food!

Kahani abhi baaki hai…I realized one thing through this event, that no matter how difficult it was to express,mom loves me a lot (the most infact). I understood this (much later) just as I was stepping into my teen years, that along with me, it was also my mom’s first experience to deal with a growing child, and that we both have to learn it the hard way (especially me). 

Women of Today: Free or oppressed?... An Introduction!

Life is good, life is bad,
What you ask for is all you get!  

…is what I always believed in and fortunately have experienced as well. However, my recent encounters with some women have forced me to change my belief. For one will never ask for an unfortunate life or an unkind family; but they still get to be in it.

In this age, women have proved themselves to be powerful in every aspect and can do everything that was once tagged as tasks out of their arena. They manage businesses, operate organizations, drive cars, fly planes, defend our country, provide employment for others, fight against all odds, and of course, take care of their families too.

Rural areas are neither left behind. With the advent of technology, women in tier 3 (and beyond) cities and towns, have discovered the advantages of being economically independent. Unlike the generation, where women worked only to pass time till they were married off in dowry-hungry families or to earn and support their families, now they work for their satisfaction and independence.


They have come a long way in assuming this role of home-maker and understanding the difference between a job and a career.


If we try to picture it together, we see a collage of strong and powerful women, who dream, aspire to achieve their dreams, inspire others in the process as well... and succeed in realizing their goals. A bright and beautifully colored collage isn't it!

However, take a close look and you will see a great difference in the picture painted with the real one. In some parts of the collage are those women who endure a lot of pain and sufferings for their families or even because of their families. All I wonder is why?


Here’s a working woman, who is married and has kids. She earns enough to take care of herself and her children, yet is staying with her husband and in-laws who do nothing good but mentally harass her. She cries almost every day and is still not willing to stay away from them? WHY?


I came across another intelligent lady with problems quite similar to the one above. She finally had to use divorce as a tool after seven years of marriage to find some peace. Neither did divorce happen nor she could find peace. Yes, she is still stuck with her family, though she knows there will be no better tomorrow. WHY?


These are just two of the many real life stories I plan to share for six weeks. These women, who wish to achieve their goals are blocked by their own weakness rather willingness. WHY?


When I think of them, I am surrounded with questions, questions and lots of them. No answers at all. Can you help me find the answers???

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Picture courtesy: Google

THE 4 WIVES

Came across this extremely interesting story and even better fact of life ... wanna preserve it :)

"There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives

a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.

c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.

Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament.

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Picture courtesy: Google

Just wanna say, I love you...

For the first time in two months, the Kannada movie song sounded melodious to my ears. Of course, the Volvo bus drivers love it and that explains their preference for Kannada music over Bollywood songs. The radio stations were playing mushy love songs, as I gather from the lyrics that mentioned the word "preeti" more often. After all, it was Valentine’s Day.

Until last year this day just used to be like any other day.

Of course, I wished my friends in person and via emails & chats, caught up with friends after long time lunches, dinners etc. After all, it was just a reason to enjoy and spend some good time.

But this year’s Valentine’s was different. Not because, it was my first Valentine's after marriage. There was something more to it, for sure. I wanted to celebrate it in its true sense.
It was my first Valentine’s with my husband of two months, the guy who's been my boyfriend for four years and my best friend of eight years....... and mind you, all three of these is the same person.

It’s actually very amazing, as to how a stranger becomes the most important part of your life. What's more amazing is the journey together. Come to think of it, a random guy who shared 15-30 minutes of his life with you on some silly online chat room is now sharing my bedroom, wardrobe, food and in fact, my life, my days and nights. At times I can't believe, I left my home, parents, friends, and my city to live with him. WHY?

I question myself only to dive into the memoirs of last eight years. While I flip through the pages of our lives, I bookmark events that actually changed my thinking, and shaped my perception of friendship, love, lust marriage, relationship and life. Those events made me realize the flavour of words like expectation and satisfaction.


Those beautiful memories are what our relationship is built upon and how lovingly we preserve them... and will always do.

"Just wanna say, I love you

Dull, dark, sad and grey that's how my life would have been without you. You bring the much needed light, enthusiasm, excitement and fun in my every day. You bring out the creativity and the sweetness in me. You have become so important to me.

It seems we knew each other since forever, and we will stay this way till eternity... in love.

Leaving my world behind I decided to be a part of your universe. I don't regret it, though I miss them all.

With you, however, I know I will live my life and not just survive. It's your care, warmth and smile that acts as a healer for me.

Be the way you are, always.

Love me :)
Happy Valentine's Day :-)  :-*"

(...because every day is a Valentine’s Day with you)