Meet Namrata

“People around me wait for the day to end and leave for home after work. Since the time they enter the office premises, occupy their vacant chairs and switch on their systems, they only wish to go back home. Home for them is synonymous with comfort, relaxation, family and love.

Not that, I am a workaholic and draw pleasure by sitting in front of the screen,  working on dull and boring excel sheets, day and night. Just like others, even I wish to run home and hug my 6 year old; listen to stories from his school, and others that are a part of his imaginations.

Yet, I end up spending more than required time at office, and that’s because I know hell awaits me at home. On working days, I am spared during the day, but for weekends, you can’t imagine how annoying it gets. That is one more reason I love to visit my office and work peacefully leaving my dear friends puzzled and angry too. Monday to Friday, 9 am to 7 pm, I feel people hurrying around me, to finish their task and enjoy their personal lives. Yes, the concept of partying is no longer limited to weekends. Hanging out with friends any day after work is quite a normal way of life for the young professionals, like me. But for me, it’s a luxury I can only dream of.

Recently I did attempt to break free from the limitations and joined my office colleagues for a birthday treat. It was Friday, my friends were in partying mood, and we went to a plush restaurant for dinner. Everybody was enjoying the music, while I was on the phone listening to my husband’s taunts and shootings.  Not surprisingly, he had already booked a cab at 8.00 PM for me to go home.

The party for them had just begun at 8.00 PM and leaving the place that early destroyed the very reason of the gathering; forget the fun. That was the sole reason I never went for dinner meets, hangouts... never! And now, my friends won’t ask as they understand my predicament and the embarrassment I go through. Strange enough, these guys understand my pain, while my family doesn’t.

If they did, will they ever let me sleep on an empty stomach? Or throw my things without even asking me whether I need them? Would they wrongly bitch about me to my relatives, neighbors, and even the maid? Would they print a wrong picture of me in my beloved son’s mind?

Often, I simply don’t understand, how have I managed to stay with them for the past 8 years. What hurts the most is not my in-law’s behavior, but the fact that my husband has little support for me, even when he believes I am not wrong. I don’t understand what scares him, rather from whom and why. I have considered the thought of staying separate from my in-laws, but my husband won’t budge. He wants to be the ‘Sharavan Kumar’ for his parents. Going back to my parents? Coming from the traditional background, they won’t accept me back at home for the fear of what would be said in their social circles.

This place, certainly not my home, is a hell that has snatched my peace, happiness, smile, and now even my sadness. I feel numb and feel there’s nothing to look forward in life. I feel trapped and helpless that encourages me to run away from everything, stay alone, get my own personal space and be happy. But will I be happy? Leaving my child alone with them? Will I be able to stay separate from my husband, my in-laws and moreover my parents? What will people think of me? These are the questions that are gnawing me from the inside, making me indecisive as to how to get out of these problems. There is a fear deep inside me that one day, the strings of patience will snap and everything will plunge towards the ground. But there is also a lingering ray of hope that my husband will understand what I am going through, support me and not be silent when it matters the most.

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Picture courtesy: Google

Please note: Names have been changed to protect identity , on request.